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7 things I wish I'd known when I was suddenly single

1. Stay Calm

Now is the time to avoid panic. You may not be able to change or influence what is happening, but we can provide strategies to assist your response. You may be ‘Suddenly Single’ due to a bereavement or relationship breakdown. Many people experience feelings of anger, loneliness, isolation or fear. You may have children or other dependants to care for. Unsure where to turn? Take a breath and let us support you.

2. Stay Flexible

Events can be unfamiliar or confusing when we are emotionally spent or distressed and it is easy to hold on to the past. Being flexible and open creates a greater number of options. Gather information before you make decisions, this will help you as you move forward. You may have a lot of “stuff” coming at you at one time; you could be completely numb or maybe even receiving no information at all. Either way, we can help you take that step back, consider the options and look at your alternatives.

3. Stay Informed

This really is key. You need to avoid avoidance. Don’t bury your head in the sand – you need to know where you stand both financially and practically. You need to know about housing, children, short-term finances, etc. Know where you stand. We will guide and support you through the process.

4. Take Advice

You may require legal, pastoral, emotional, housing or financial counsel. Consider your needs and take reliable, professional advice. Sometimes a cup of tea and a chat with a friend or family member will help. Many of us, however, prefer to keep friendships and families separate from painful or personal matters. We work collaboratively with other professionals to provide a service which encompasses emotional support, financial advice and legal guidance.

5. Be Kind To Yourself

Now is the time to take it easy on yourself. You are experiencing a process and you may well be dealing with issues and areas which are unfamiliar and stressful. Take some time for yourself. In the same way that we are going back to basics for your money, we are going back to basics for you. Get adequate sleep, create a routine for yourself, eat regularly and well, go for a wee walk – whatever “kind to yourself” means to you, do it.

6. The Way Ahead

We know where you are and what you need: stay calm, flexible, informed; take advice and be kind to yourself. Now design your money map – you have information, support and clarity. You have a new landscape.

7. The First Steps

You know your money values, you’ve eliminated your fears, created new life goals and now you’re ready to create your future. You now have a plan. You can check it, adjust it, but most importantly, use it to live the life you’ve created now!