Feeling confused?

You may have been expecting it. It may have come as a shock. Either way becoming single through divorce, separation or bereavement can be completely overwhelming.

NINE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

Stay Calm - ok now is the time to avoid panic you may not be able to change or influence what has happened but you can totally decide how you intend to react to events. You may be suddenly single due to a bereavement or relationship breakdown. You may well be feeling alone, isolated or even afraid. You may have children or other dependants to care for Unsure where to turn? Ok, take a breath, support is here. Breathe again and, now chose your response and your actions.
Stay flexible - The more flexible you are the greater your options are. Stay open, gather information before you make decisions. This will help you as you move forward.
Know the score - this is key, avoid avoidance. Don’t bury your head in the sand. You need to know where you stand, financially and practically. Housing, children, short term finances. Know where you stand, know your money values. Know if you have any emotional money “baggage” which needs to be dealt with.
Clarify /get clear- ok so now we know where we are we clarify where we need to be. So back to basics: how much money requirement do you need for your preferred lifestyle? What are your needs, wants and nice to have’s? Let’s get reallyspecific and let’s get it down on paper.
Take advice - wherever you can.You may require legal advice or it could be pastoral, emotional , housing or financial. Look at what you need to know and take reliable professional advice.
Get support- whatever support means for you, now is the time to obtain it, whether that’s friends, family, employers, counsellors or therapists now is the time to speak up. It may be as simple as a cup of tea and a chat with your friend or, if you prefer, more structured. Some people prefer to maintain friendships and families very separately from, what can sometimes, be painful personal matters. Whatever way you see things, get the support which is right for you.
Be kind to yourself - take it easy on yourself. You are experiencing a process and you may well be dealing with issues and areas which are unfamiliar and stressful. Take some time for yourself if possible. In the same way which we’re going back to basics for your money we are going back to basics for you. Make sure that you are getting adequate sleep - try to create a routine for yourself. Eat regularly and well. Go for a wee walk. Whatever “kind to yourself” means to you - do it.
Get a plan - ok now here is the good part. We now know where we are and what we need , we have information support and clarity. We have a new routine. So with all of these factors being present we create our plan. Take charge, your roadmap to your new future.
Live it / check it - as a famous ad campaign once said “just do it”. You now know your money values, you’ve eliminated your fears. Sometimes in life we drift off course - but you have a plan . Check it adjust it ,but most importantly, live the life you’ve created now.